The Postman (D)

STARS...
Kevin Costner, Will Patton, Larenz Tate, Olivia Williams, James Russo, Tom Petty, Joe Santos, Giovanni Ribisi, Peggy Lipton, Lily Costner, Anne Costner, and Joe Costner.

PLOT SUMMARY...
In the future, a drifter impersonates a postman, inspiring hope for America's future.

QUICK SCAN...
Costner looks great, but it's irrelevant 'cause the film is long and boring. The film has a great look, thanks to director of photography, Stephen Windon. Will Patton bores with his one note performance as a fanatical rebel leader.

DIRECTOR: Danny Cannon
YEAR & RATING: 1997 (R)

BEST BETS:

Waterworld

Planet of the Apes

A Boy and His Dog

The Road Warrior

SYNOPSIS...
In 2013, much of America has been destroyed by war and plagues. In an effort to survive, a drifter gets pulled into a bad guy group, The Holness, for a while.

Later, having left the group, he seeks comfort in an old mail truck. Putting on a postal uniform, he begins picking up and delivering mail. Eventually, a pony express-type group of teenage postmen on horseback delivers the mail.

The Holness bad guys begin murdering postmen. The Postman confronts Bethlehem, the head bad guy. They battle, one-on-one, to the death.

The Review:

Director Kevin Costner's "The Postman" is a, bloated nearly-endless epic mess.

When this film first opened, some Hollywood insiders jokingly called it "Dirtworld." I think "Dances with Mail" is more appropriate.

Early on in the film, we see a shot of a lion attempting to open a metal can, as the music swells. The scene is symbolic, and full of hooey, much like most of "The Postman."

Kevin Costner looks really sharp as "The Postman." Unfortunately, we don't care very much for his character. It's odd that Costner, who has looked chunky and sported a double chin in some of his 90s efforts, should look GREAT in what may be his worst film ever. He put his best foot forward, but in the wrong shoes, so to speak.

Much of the problem with the film is that the audience is supposed to look up to and admire postal carriers. I'm not sure where Costner has been living , but the days of Norman Rockwell portraits of friendly postmen are long gone. Ironically, this futuristic hokum might have worked in 1976, when American went nuts over its 200th birthday and all things patriotic and nostalgic.

Costner and his writers, (Screenplay by Eric Roth and Brian Helgeland, based on a book by David Brin), have borrowed from numerous sources including "Planet of the Apes," "A Boy and His Dog," "The Road Warrior," and "Shane." There's nothing wrong with that, but the fact that Costner also borrowed from his own flicks, "Waterworld" and "Dances With Wolves," I found a bit nauseous.

The usually reliable Will Patton bores with a one note performance as the fanatical leader of The Holness. You can't have a great good/evil conflict without a great bad guy. "The Postman" fails in this, as it does in most of what it attempts.

Olivia Williams is quite fetching as Abby, a woman who ultimately bears his child. In true Hollywood leading man tradition, Costner's love interests are getting younger as he gets older; Nice work if you can get it.

Larenz Tate is energetic and eager to please as Costner's sidekick. His groupie-like fascination with postal work is a bit unmotivated, but he's a pleasing young screen presence.

Costner paints his epic with broad strokes but is sloppy with some of the details. At one point, we are informed that Nate Holn, the deceased founder of the rebel Holness movement, was a motivational speaker. Later in the film, he's referred to as a farmer. Are these the same profession?

"The Postman" has a great look, particularly during battle/action scenes. Director of Photography, Stephen Windon, does fine work here, but a good- looking film, like a good-looking Costner, isn't enough to save this epic misfire.

The film's music is dramatic, strong and full bodied, courtesy of James Newton Howard. Unfortunately, the bombastic score only serves to underscore the hollowness of the onscreen events.

"The Postman" may be slightly watchable for some patient Sci-Fi viewers. Absolute Costner maniacs may be entertained by beautiful pictures of their cute hero. For me, "The Postman" delivers a dead letter.